Correct me if I am wrong, but there appears to be a new level of competition among moms today. On Facebook, I see moms who are constantly making comparisons, obsessing over each new parenting stat they share – or obsessing over their friends shared parenting stats.
This obsession adds unnecessary stress to the day-to-day stresses of school, time management, sickness, trying to please others, trying to please yourself and, most of all, caring for your children.
I know – I have been there but it was on a much smaller scale! You see, when I was raising my children, technology had not yet poked its head into every corner of our lives. All I had to worry about were the neighborhood parents and the parents from school.
Today’s moms are comparing themselves to the world! OMG.
Comparing ourselves to others is human nature. “You compare fruits in the grocery store, so of course you’re going to compare yourself to the mom down the street,” says Paula Spencer, author of Momfidence: An Oreo Never Killed Anybody and Other Secrets of Happier Parenting. However, there are much more productive habits to create than fixating on the fact that your best friend’s baby happily eats anything and everything offered while your little guy spits out anything that isn’t a Cheerio.
Instead of comparing become a mom investigator.
Don’t just stare enviously, talk with other moms. “Everyone looks perfect from far away,” says Spencer. “But you have to do some further investigating.”
You’ll be surprised to learn that the “too-skinny-to-have-just-had-a-baby” mom who is endlessly commenting that “being a mom to her perfect kid is the best thing that ever happened to her”, spent two hours stressing out over what to put into her diaper bag. Or that this seemingly laid-back mom’s home that looks like a tornado hit it.
While you are talking with these other mom’s, take the time to enjoy their company. You will find yourself being less stressed over the things you have no control over and you might learn, or teach, a new trick!
My heart is with you and your family Arizona