It’s Time For You to Control this Huge Self-Esteem Killer

I hate the words “I can’t”.  They signal a lack of belief in oneself; judging yourself as less than.  Those two simple words “I can’t” wraps the root of success – belief – with a deceitful web of lies.  It is far easier and much less destructive to your self-image to be totally honest with yourself.

Ask the question “Is That True”?

I found myself telling Gary, my DH, last night “I can’t handle this situation.”  After we talked, I sat and meditated on that statement for quite a long time.  Is that true?

Since I do not want to delve into the details of my “I can’t” from last night, here is a silly example of how I work through “I cant’s” and power shift them into the ” I Can”.

I can’t be a basketball star.  Is that true?


Why is that true? 

I do not possess the necessary skills.  I can’t sink a ball in the net on my best of days, much less run up and down the court!

Can I learn the skills? 

Technically, yes.  With enough practice, I could learn the skills and condition my body.

Do I want to put the time and effort into the practice?

No. Not really.  I can think of many things I would rather do than run up and down a basketball court.

I can’t be a basketball star.  Is that true?

No.  I could develop those skills if I really had a passion for the sport.  The true statement is that I do not really want to be a basketball star.  And that is okay.

Most situations are far more complicated and are potentially damaging to your self-esteem than this example.  No matter how complicated, the process of question and answer remains the same.

If you are totally honest with your answers, “I can’t” becomes “I can.”  You may decide, like above, that you really don’t want to accomplish a set goal – and that is okay.  More often, you will discover a skill-set that you need to develop, a false belief that is getting in the way or a piece of the past that is tripping you up.  Sometimes, an “I can’t” is protecting you from a situation that is unhealthy for you and by recognizing this you can take the steps to protect yourself.

My “I can’t” from last night? Was it true?  No.  I have the skills, I have the belief in the necessity of the task.  I am allowing myself to be triggered by the fears that the past brings. With some self-control, I can handle the situation and maintain the barrier needed to protect my inner peace.  It may take me days, weeks or even months to condition myself, but I can do it.

What can you do today?

A Life of Peace is Waiting For You

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